Writer: Miranda Poradek
Editor: Rachel Kuolt
Spring 2024
For many people, the word “divorce” may conjure images of regretful young couples or tearful child custody battles. However, there is a surprising demographic dominating divorce courts today: older couples.
Despite overall declines in divorce rates in the United States over the past four decades, older couples have notably been an outlier of this trend. In fact, from 1990 to 2019 divorce rates among older adults tripled (Tach, 2013). “Gray divorce” is a term coined by the AARP to describe the phenomenon of pervasive divorce among older couples. There are numerous possible factors for the rise in gray divorces. For instance, modern cultural views have reduced the stigma formerly associated with divorce. Additionally, normative life developments such as empty nest syndrome can lead couples to become dissatisfied with their marriage, even after several years (Donald, 2023).
Regardless of the reasoning behind the increase in “gray divorce,” many experts agree that older women are especially vulnerable in the face of marital dissolution. These vulnerabilities stem from a lack of financial knowledge and workforce experience. For many older women, their partner was the primary or sole household earner. Therefore, women’s household income generally drops between 23-40% in the year after a divorce (Tach, 2013). For older women seeking to reenter the workforce, systemic factors such as ageism, ableism, and sexism present barriers. These disparities are evidenced by older women earning just 75 cents for each dollar earned by older men (Sheperd, 2023). Given older women’s unique disadvantages in marriage, it is essential that this demographic receives accurate and reliable advice about how to deal with these challenges.
For women who lack formal working experience, spousal support presents a promising avenue for post-divorce income. However, determining spousal support involves several considerations. For instance, a spouse is more likely to earn spousal support if they argue they did not work during their marriage because the other spouse earned sufficient income, or because they stayed at home to care for the children (Gray divorce, 2023). It is important to note that alimony is typically temporary and only mandated for a brief period to allow the dependent spouse to become self-sufficient. Additionally, alimony can only be rewarded to the dependent spouse if the other spouse is able to afford this extra expense. In many gray divorces, the former earner of the household is retired and, therefore, unable to pay alimony.
Another potential source of income for older women post-divorce is social security benefits. According to the Social Security Administration, if a couple has been married for ten or more years prior to divorce, an individual may be eligible to receive social security benefits on behalf of their former spouse (Social Security, 2024). Understanding the full range of possible monetary benefits is crucial for older women navigating divorce.
Determining the division of property is a messy process in many divorces. This can become a particularly difficult task in instances of gray divorce, as couples must divide years of cumulative assets and/or debt. These assets include homes, second homes, retirement accounts, and valuable personal property (boats, jewelry, etc). Although a 50-50 split of property between partners is preferable, courts often settle on other arrangements. Considerations such as age, employment status, marital misconduct, future income streams, and more are all factors in determining the division of property (Marital property division, 2024). In many cases of gray divorce, the husband had primary responsibility over the household finances during marriage. Therefore, older women navigating divorce often find themselves lacking knowledge of their marital assets.
Although older women may be disproportionately vulnerable in gray divorces, experts argue that women can take several actions to improve settlement outcomes. Elisha Roy, former President of the Florida Chapter of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, provides insight into how older women can aim for successful outcomes in their divorces. Firstly, women should consult with a lawyer to understand what their rights are, and how those rights can be leveraged to maximize their benefits in the settlement process. Roy explains: “I believe the common misunderstanding is that if you hire lawyers you have to expect to ‘fight.’ Lawyers are like the teachers; you need them to help you make the best decisions, and if that result cannot occur because the other side is unreasonable, you are prepared if necessary to fight.” Women should also ensure they are making sound decisions about their finances during divorce proceedings (Roy, 2023). Financial advisors can help women understand the implications (both negative and positive) of divorce on their financial well-being.
Several societal factors have contributed to a culture that makes divorce financially riskier for older women. With the proper support system in place, older women can mitigate these risks and advocate for more favorable conditions in divorce settlements.
References
Donald, E. (2023, October 2). What causes Gray Divorce?: Reasons why older couples split.
Goranson Bain Ausley Family Law. https://gbfamilylaw.com/blogs/what-causes-gray-divorce-later-in-life-reasons-why-older-couples-split/
Gray divorce: The ultimate boomer divorce guide. Second Saturday. (2023, June 17).
Marital property division in Gray Divorce. The Marks Law Firm. (2024, March 22).
Roy, E. (2023, September 26). Women and “gray divorce.” Cresset Capital.
Sheperd, M. (2023, June 2). Five facts on older women in the labor market. Center for
American Progress. https://www.americanprogress.org/article/five-facts-on-older-women-in-the-labor-market/#:~:text=Median%20usual%20weekly%20earnings%20for,by%20full%2Dtime%20older%20men.
Social Security. Social Security Administration. (2024).
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